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Sormeki
03-06-2008, 10:58 PM
AIM Contact Info: sormeki

Name: Kazuta Takahashi (First, Last)

Age: 93 (Appears to be between 20 and 30 years of age.) (Died at 25, lived in Rukongai for 62 years, went to the Academy for 6 years.)

Persona: Kazuta is a very friendly person who tries to see the best in people. However, his trust is not easy to earned, and those he trusts he trusts with his life.

Kazuta also has what one might call a hidden temper. He is able to stay calm through situations that would raise the ire of some of the most emotionally detached people. However, when he becomes enraged, everyone will know it. When this happens he becomes single-minded. During this situation his only goal is the defeat of whomever shattered his calm.

He has a relatively high intelligence compared to some, which gives him an edge in battle. He treats each fight as both an important learning experience and like a game of chess. He is able to react to his opponents actions while still thinking ahead.

Kazuta also has a very strict moral code that he follows. Even when enraged, he is unable to raise his blade against a friend or a woman. This makes him vulnerable to betrayal, however it is for this reason that he is hesitant to trust people.

Physical Appearance: (Stat-like Form)
Height: 5' 10"
Eye Color: Deep Blue
Hair Color: Black
Hair Style: Rather unkempt, he's going for the "I just woke up" look.
Identifying Characteristics: There is a scar over his left eye. A remnant of a fight he got into as a child.
Other Characteristics: Kazuta is somewhat slender. He appears as though he would be easy to take down but his skill with a sword makes up for his appearance.

Physical Appearance: (Paragraph Form)
Kazuta Takahashi is a somewhat slender man with a height of approximately five foot ten. He wears his dark black hair in a very unkempt manner, as if to say "I'm awake, now what?" His eyes are like oceans of deep blue and seem to promote a calm feeling in those who gaze into them. Over his left eye is a very noticeable scar. He is unsure of how he obtained this memento of battle as he was alive at the time, and like most Shinigami, holds no memories of life. Though his outward appearance may suggest that he is weak, it is folly to assume that he can't hold his own in battle.

Biography: Like the vast majority of Shinigami, Kazuta Takahashi has no memories of his life before he died. His earliest memories, thus, are of living in Rukongai. He was fairly well liked and respected by the people around him. He lived a great life in Rukongai, and would have enjoyed it if it had stayed as it was. However, Kazuta always strove to better himself. It was his goal to become as strong as he could. Never did he have have the delusion that he could become the strongest man in the world, he knew that there is always someone stronger.

Soon he found that he could use spiritual energy, so of course he applied to the Academy. He felt that becoming a Shinigami would help him get stronger. After six years at the Academy he graduated with a better understanding of how the Shinigami worked. Now he knew that this was the path he must take.

Division/Seat: 13th Division/Unseated

Zanpakutou: Kazuta's Zanpakutou has the appearance of an ordinary katana with an overall length of 38.5". The cross guard is gold in color and elliptical in shape. The hilt its made of a black polished wood with gold colored cloth cross layered down it for better grip. The scabbard is made of the same polished black wood as the the hilt and is strapped to Kazuta's back.

Stats:
Reiatsu: 100
Zanjutsu: 60
Hakuda: 10
Hohou: 20
Kidou: 10
Connection: 0


"A Rough Beginning"
Word Count: 1592
Kazuta Takahashi was sitting under a tree outside of the Academy contemplating his future. He had just graduated from the Academy. Though the rest of his class had either applied to or been recruited by one of the Gotei 13, Kazuta felt he needed a bit more training on his own before he would be worthy of even an unseated position in the Gotei 13. He had always been hard on himself like this.

He knew of an area where extremely weak Hollows gathered that was far enough away from the people in Rukongai that the Gotei 13 felt it was unnecessary to eradicate them. He figured if he could go and take out a few of them a day, and evade the others until the next day. After a few months he would have learned enough about battle and survival to be good enough for the Gotei 13. Not to mention, he figured this would help him decide which Division would be best for his strengths.

Six months, he thought, that should be enough time to learn what I can.

"No reason to sit around here then," Kazuta said to himself as he stood from his spot and felt the light breeze that blew past. He smiled; it was a good day.

He walked slowly as he made his way to the Hollows' gathering spot; he wanted to enjoy the good weather. He knew that once the training began he wouldn't have time to stop and enjoy the world around him. As he stood outside a small wooded area he grinned and drew his Zanpakutou from its scabbard.

"Ready for you're first real fight," Kazuta asked his blade. Of course there was silence. "I can't hear you yet, but I get the feeling you're as ready for this as I am... Heh, or maybe I'm just talking to myself."

Within seconds of entering the wooded area a Hollow jumped at Kazuta from a branch overhead and grabbed onto his back. It was no larger than a small child and its mask was very unremarkable.

Kazuta reached back and pulled the child-like thing off him and tossed it to the ground in front of him. It looked up at him with sad eyes, or as sad as a Hollow's eyes can be.

"Gah, you're only a child. Even if you are a Hollow, how am I to learn anything from beating you," Kazuta remarked. "It would feel like I was picking on a small child anyhow. Run along now."

Kazuta began to walk away in search of a new enemy, but just as soon as his back was to the child-like Hollow he felt something wet hit the back of his head followed by an intense pain.

"I may look small, but I'm in no way weak, Shinigami," the child-like Hollow taunted. "As long as I remain within one hundred meters of you, that acid will slowly eat through your flesh, and when it reaches your brain, it will completely paralyze you so that I can eat your soul without you interfering."

"A hundred meters," asked Kazuta, "I'll get that challenge after all. I won't give you the chance to get that far away."

Kazuta spun around slicing at the small Hollow with his blade. The Hollow ducked under and jumped towards Kazuta, when the blade was out of his way, kicking him in the face.

"Going to have to be better than that, Shinigami," the child-like Hollow remarked.

Kazuta stumbled back a step but quickly regained his footing. He knew that he had taken this small creature too lightly; he wouldn't make that mistake again.

"The name is Takahashi, Kazuta Takahasi, and now I'll give you the fight someone of your strength deserves," he said as he raised his Zanpakutou.

He struck fast and hard, this time the Hollow wasn't fast enough and his arm was liberated from his body. As he howled in pain Kazuta made another strike, slicing straight down towards the Hollows head in an attempt to finish it off. The child-like being was too fast for him though and was able to jump to a low hanging branch.

"You will regret entering this place, Shinigami," was all that the child-like Hollow said before running off through the treetops.

This will be harder than I anticipated, Kazuta thought to himself as he set down to rest a bit, No time to be sitting around, I doubt he was the best this place has to offer.

For the next several days Kazuta fought two or three Hollows a day and evaded the rest until the following day. Of the few he actually fought, most ran off before he could finish them. None were nearly as strong as the first that he met. However, each one still tested his skills and strategies in a multitude of ways. It became like a game of hide and seek. Except, when you are found, you fight for your life. After a week of this however, the Hollows seemed to be gone.

I can't have gotten rid of them all, could I, he asked himself. But, just he finished his mental question there was a loud crash behind him. He spun around to see what it was, and there stood a Hollow of about 6 feet. It resembled a large gorilla with fur-like spikes covering its body. It's mask had what looked like a black tribal tattoo on it. Beside the Hollow was the small child-like Hollow he had first met upon entering the woods.

"That's the one," began the child-like Hollow. "He's the Shinigami that has been playing with your underlings."

"You've noticed the Hollows have stopped appearing. I won't have my subordinates destroyed by a novice Shinigami. However, you have caused enough trouble for me to step in, Shinigami," the gorilla Hollow bellowed. "I will enjoy eating your soul."

"My name is Kazuta Takahashi. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but, I don't plan on having my soul eaten any time soon," he said as he drew his Zanpakutou and took a defensive stance. "Besides, looks like you've had a few too many, I'm cutting you off."

The Hollow lunged towards him, grabbed hold, and squeezed. Kazuta could feel the spikes puncture his skin. When the Hollow pulled away Kazuta's torso was covered in small puncture wounds.

"The poison from my spikes will make you pass out soon, Shinigami Takahashi. I don't think you will be cutting anything ever again," growled the Hollow.

The poison worked its way through Kazuta's blood stream and soon he wasn't able to stand. His vision had also blurred, and as he fell he could only just make out a humanoid form jump past him and strike the Hollow; just before the darkness set in, he heard the death roar of the larger Hollow and the almost inaudible footfalls of the smaller Hollow scampering away.

He awoke some time later lying under a tree. He could feel that his wounds had been bandaged, but his vision was still blurry. He could just make out the outline of the person sitting next to him.

"Don't get up, you aren't healed yet," said the mysterious man. "You will only hurt yourself more if you move."

"I couldn't even kill that Hollow, how will I ever be worthy of the Gotei 13," Kazuta asked, not necessarily to the man beside him.

"That Hollow was far above the abilities of a Shinigami fresh from the Academy. The fact you didn't die immediately is admirable," the man said. "I've watched you since you entered these woods, you are quite good with that Zanpakutou."

"Yeah, good enough to get beaten," Kazuta remarked.

"You're too hard on yourself, Shinigami. I was just like that when I graduated," the man said.

"You're a Shinigami too," Kazuta asked.

"Was. I was a Shinigami. I haven't been for centuries. I spend my time out here, enjoying the simple life these woods have to offer, keeping the Hollows in check, and, apparently, saving novice Shinigami who get in over their heads," explained the man. "You know, the Gotei 13 aren't just there to 'keep the peace' or whatever they tell you in the Academy these days, they are there to help train the new Shinigami as well. The hierarchy isn't just something for you to climb, it's there for you to learn from those above you and teach those below you. At least it was back in my day."

"I didn't graduate high enough to be recruited, how do I know which Division I can learn the most from. I want to become as strong as I can," asked Kazuta.

"As I said, you have some skill with that Zanpakutou of yours, if memory serves, Division 13 specializes in Zanpakutou Mastery," answered the man. "Look into it when you return to the Seireitei, but for now, rest."

"But..." began Kazuta, but his sentence was cut off because he suddenly fell asleep.

This time when he awoke he was back at the tree in front of the Academy. His vision had returned but his torso was still in pain from the puncture wounds.

Who was that man, Kazuta thought. Maybe I should follow his advice, what he said did make sense.

In the end, Kazuta followed the man's advice. He decided that if it worked out he would seek out the man someday and thank him. Either way, he felt he would have to seek out the man again. After all, he owed the man his life.



I plan to have a friend who is good at artistic endeavors draw a picture or two of Kazuta Takahashi and a picture or two of his Zanpakutou. Just in case it isn't clear to some what I meant. I tried to describe my vision as best I could, but I've never been fond of the way I use words. My sister understood what I meant, but she lives with me on a daily basis so that's no surprise. :)

IshinOnigami
03-07-2008, 06:02 AM
hey there! Welcome fellow 13th division dude!

13th is the best. way better than the 12th.

anyway, i like the character. there are only a few things i would change.

First: your physical appearance is good, but its too stat like. I would love to be able to read it and know what he looks like in my head by way of a paragraph or two.

Two: you dont know the name of your zanpakutou yet. its a good description, and you can keep the name in mind for when you hit Shikai, its just you wouldn't have the name yet. and just for the record, with the sword being just over three feet long, even with a short stature, carrying across the back would make it extremely uncomfortable to draw your sword when it comes time for a fight. just a little food for thought.

other things to note: YOU COPIED MY SCAR!!!:mad: just kidding.

also, you might wana go through your sample chapter and double check some stuff. there were some basic gramatical errors but nothing too bad that i could see, but then i haven't been doing this very long myself.

Anyway, good luck getting approved and if you need a div mate to collab, give me a ring.

EDIT: If you haven't already, i would give mots super newbie guide a read. its informative, and will make you chuckle at the same time.

swaswj
03-07-2008, 07:05 AM
and just for the record, with the sword being just over three feet long, even with a short stature, carrying across the back would make it extremely uncomfortable to draw your sword when it comes time for a fight. just a little food for thought.

Something to note, though: when Hitsugaya draws his sword, the sheath simply disappears (not in an artist-forgot way, but it disperses into spirit particles). It's possible that his char could learn something similar.

Sormeki
03-07-2008, 08:16 AM
I was actually thinking of the same thing swaswj said. I'm not sure how I would go about doing that though. Would it be like a feat or something?

Ok, I have now fixed the grammar errors I could find and added a paragraph form for Kazuta's physical appearance if you prefer to read it in that manner.

Any other ideas?

Fuzakeru
03-08-2008, 02:34 PM
Hello! I'm Stephie and I'm the application staff here at Halcyon Days!

I like the persona a lot though I have to wonder - if things that would make an emotionless person don’t really affect him…how far does one have to go to rile up your character? I’d assume breaking his trust since its such a large deal for him but people break each other’s trust everyday when they tell secrets and or betray feelings. Mmm. I wonder, he doesn’t like raising his sword against friends or women, does that mean he’d have trouble fighting say… a female Arrancar or hollow? That’s really interesting. You need to keep true to that statement if that’s the way it is. I think it’d be a terribly interesting ‘flaw’ that would add a lot of juice to your plot.

Your physical appearance is great ( thanks for putting a paragraph version up. ) Biography, zanpakutou, stats - all look okey dokey.

Okay, this entire application looks fantastic… until I get to the sample chapter. While its written wonderfully and its interesting, I have a large problem with the content.


- A snip from the application guide -

[ DO NOT write your guys being the most awesome, super l337 thing ever. You are starting with next to nothing stats. Its going to sound harsh, but you could probably be beaten up by anyone in the RP at this point. Please remember that.

The likely hood of you owning an intelligent hollow is none. The possibility of you walking in one a gang of unseated members in the Gotei and blinking at them to make them explode is none.]

What am I getting at? Well, I liked that when the first hollow attacked you, Takahashi tossed it off and under estimated it. The hollow poisoning him is fine too but it’s the fact that you just start running around beating up hollows by yourself at will is completely unbelievable. Particularly so when you mentioned you killed all the hollows in one area before the ’boss’ showed up. For you to beat up a hollow by yourself you’d have to fight against a rambling idiot hollow that can’t even speak. Spending a week out and about just slaughtering hollows isn’t going to happen. ( I guess a better explanation of what I'm getting at would be in Moot's Super Guide to being a better RPer. Follow the link here~ (http://www.bleachforums.com/showthread.php?t=25008)

Other than that, things are looking extremely promising. Good luck making the adjustments to your sample.

Sormeki
03-08-2008, 02:51 PM
Actually what I was going for was that all the Hollows he was fighting were extremely weak. The idea there with them not showing up wasn't that he had beaten them, but that the "boss" had ordered them away so that he could kill him before he caused too much trouble. Seems I forgot to mention that part. lol

I figured the part where he was thinking to himself that he couldn't have possibly beaten them all pointed out that he hadn't. I suppose I can put in some stuff elaborating on that and then have the "boss" explain that to him.

The other thing is he wasn't so much out there just to slaughter Hollows, but would like fight a few each day and then evade the rest. He's kinda testing his fighting and survival skills at the same time. I suppose you could say like a big game of hide and seek lol. I could put something in that makes that a bit more clear.

Fuzakeru
03-08-2008, 03:00 PM
Alright. Well, I can see that being far more understandable. I guess I didn't catch on to that at all when I was reading it and it just seemed like a hollow pwn fest.

If the hollows are running off and he's not actually fighting them all and winning I'm down.

I still don't like the situation with the first hollow you came across. Hollow strength is vastly measured in both raw power and in intelligence. For a hollow to speak and have a firm grasp on the concept of 'shinigami' and the other workings of Soul Society I'd consider them a level that should be dealt with on a Shi Kai-ish level / or at least close to it.


He struck fast and hard, this time the Hollow wasn't fast enough and his arm was liberated from his body. As he howled in pain Kazuta made another strike, slicing straight down on the Hollows head, splitting him in two. As the child-like Hollow disintegrated into nothingness Kazuta sat down.

In this situation I think you should have this hollow run off too since it displays mass amounts of intelligence; perhaps you could damage him a little first or something.

If you make those points more clear then I'd be down with the chapter. If that's all fine with you then go ahead and change that around and post in the Final Draft thread and we'll go from there. n_n

Sormeki
03-08-2008, 03:31 PM
The chapter has been adjusted and I'm posting it in the Final Draft thread now. ^_^

Fuzakeru
03-08-2008, 03:58 PM
Looks good now! Thanks for diligently attending to those matters.

Sor~ I DECLARE in the name of freshly baked pizza hot pockets that you are APPROVED.

Here's your new list of things to do ( I won't go in to painful detail as its written in the Newbie Handbook and you know you can just ask in chat if you don't get it ).

1.) Take your application and post it as your profile in the Shinigami Registry.

2.) Format your stats and post them in the newest Personal Records thread so your grader can easily find them!

3.) Your sample chapter needs to be posted today before 11:59 PM (EST) if you want it graded right away since tomorrow starts the grading period. You'll start a new thread for your volume and post this chapter and any others you might write today in there.

Good luck and welcome aboard!